NiCE is indifferent
NiCE is not
If you have followed the Influential Leadership System to any extent you will know that Leadership and indifference never share the same space.
Leadership is curiosity; it is constantly finding ways to change things for the betterment of people’s lives; it seeks win-win outcomes, and it is ACTivism based on critical thinking and smart choices.
Leadership is not being NiCE.
NiCE is indifferent
NiCE people are more debilitating to progress, change and ACTivism than those who are obtuse or even mis-leaders—the latter at least show their colours.
It is ‘perfectly NiCE people’ who retard progress, they oxygenate anti-social behaviours—corruption, bigotry, racism, misogynism, bullying, genocide, violence and war.
They are also the people who suck the life out of relationships, teams, communities, businesses and countries.
At the centre of NiCE is INDIFFERENCE—the appeasing silence that is home to cowardice and fear; the vacuum that enables unproductive behaviours.
Indifference is lassitude and gives rise to the attitudes, behaviours and outcomes that are the antithesis of Influential Leadership.
Indifference has no success in it.
NiCE is Quicksand to Leadership
Dealing with ‘nice’ people is like stepping into quicksand—soft, yielding and deceptively gentle at first—but beneath lies a subtle dynamic that can entrap honesty, integrity, values, progress and leadership.
The most leech-like element in the quicksand of NiCE people is their indifference, ably abetted by neutrality, compromise and the penchant for euphemism.
- Neutral. Surface Softness: NiCE behaviour often feels pleasant and non-threatening—like dry quicksand. It encourages people to relax, avoid friction and deny honesty.
- Indifference. Engenders Resistance to Disruption: When difficult truths or conflicts arise, the NiCEness becomes sticky—resisting movement, honesty, confrontation or change.
- Compromising. Invisible Entrapment: Like quicksand, NiCEness is not overtly hostile. Its danger lies in masking discomfort and suppressing ethical clarity.
- Euphemistic. Passivity Sinks: The more you try to stay polite, using NiCE language, without addressing root problems, calling it what it is, the deeper one is drawn into inaction or complicity.
Being Principled Beats NiCE
| Attribute | Principles-Driven Person | NiCE Person |
| Motivation | Ethics, justice, principles, values | Social acceptance & approval |
| Comfort with Honesty | Willing to confront it | Tendency to avoid it |
| Outcome Focus | Longer-term, just, inclusive & uncompromised | Immediate compromise for harmony & conformity |
| Relational Style | Direct, honest & principled | Indirect, polite & pleasant |
| (Leadership) Impact | Often transformative & inventive | Often appeasing & accommodating |
nice need not be NiCE
Sure, be a nice person—kind, well-mannered, considerate and so forth. These are favourable human attributes, but they are not what we have in mind for NiCE (as defined above).
When we find that ‘being nice’ compromises us on issues of integrity, values, principles, honesty, and confronting depravity, then we know we have moved from nice to NiCE.
The Influential Leadership way is the opposite of indifference—Leadership is the oxygen that changes things for the better, that takes us forwards through ACTivism.
Be a Leadership Activist wherever you find yourself. Yes, be nice too (but never NiCE).
Regards,
Colin Donian
Karoo Founder & CEO
Be an ACTIVIST for the better!
Leadership Note # 2825 | 14.07.25
e: colind@karoo.world
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