I am Brute and Caesar
You too, Brutus?
As the daggers do their dirty work Caesar exclaims, Et tu, Brute?
Caesar sadly sees that his close friend and confidante, Marcus Junius Brutus, is among the conspirators who stab his life out of him.[i]
Caesar’s words capture the shock of betrayal—not just being attacked but being struck down by someone you trusted deeply.
Today, we use Et tu, Brute? whenever we feel unexpectedly let down by someone close—whether in our relationships, families, politics, business, or everyday life.
It is the archetypal cry of—I did not expect this from you.
Sometimes it is—I trusted you to know and do better…
While such behaviour is abhorrent and places the victim in a terrible position, there is another condition that is manifestly worse, and this is the one I shine a light on.
| There are situations in which the betrayal is inconspicuous to the victim.
In such instances Caesar does not recognise the dagger or the poison that the trusted one wields or administers. The perpetrator uses their position of power, knowledge or authority to dupe their victim. |
The Backstory
Two personal incidents in the past week germinated this week’s On Leadership.
- Firstly, South Africans observe Heritage Day on 24 September. The public holiday is supposed to celebrate the country’s cultural diversity, traditions and shared history.
Comment: I would rather we set aside a day (maybe more than one day) to think about and gather our wits to create a better shared future.
- Secondly, on that very day this year I enjoyed a lunch of home-baked pizzas with dear friends. While pizzas do originate from Caesar’s and Brutus’ Rome, it was not the topped crispy-breads that reminded me of betrayal, but the hosts’ delightful two-year-old granddaughter.
Our hostess, the grandmother, played a video of the two-year-old singing the South African national anthem. This is no mean feat. For non-South Africans, our anthem is a constellation of powerful words about freedom sung in five different languages! As anthems go, I think it is creative and does represent the complexity and opportunity of South Africa’s history and diversity.
So, singing the national anthem on Heritage Day is appropriate, and terribly cute from one so young.
Comment: I am a sceptic of national symbols as they tend towards “nationalism”, and we know where this particular “-ism” has taken humanity repeatedly—never into a productive space. Nationalism is a collective form of zero-sum thinking and behaving, which is the antithesis of Influential Leadership. But that is a story for another On Leadership.
| The country. The national flag. The anthem. Language. Customs. Beliefs. Stereotypes. Ways of thinking. Traditions… There are many inheritances we receive when we are born, and further garnished like a supreme pizza as we evolve towards our age of reason. |
Each of us might be Caesar and Brutus—the Betrayed and the Betrayer
At different times in our lives, we are either in Caesar’s or Brutus’ positions—the victim or the perpetrator. And while we might never wield a dagger to the jugular of our child, grandchild, sibling, learner, worker or citizen, we are at times in positions of power, knowledge or authority to poison them.
| As I watched the cute two-year-old sing the national anthem, I wondered what kind of seeds were being sown.
I extrapolated the situation into every other inheritance we humans arrive with and their garnishing that indoctrinates us from the day we arrive in the world. |
In the realm of Influential Leadership, there are five matters to think through:
- Be conscious of your weapons. The dagger is clear and obvious, it is seen coming; it is deadly, immediate and possibly preferable. But, not only daggers take life. Poison lingers; it sucks oxygen from life, and then life ends long before death. What weapons do you and I wield?
- Beware the ones we love the most. It is not enemies who do us the most damage, who hurt our hearts and lives to the core, but the ones close. Enemies cannot betray. Who do we betray?
- Choose not to betray. Discard the dagger. Pour out the poison. Give all those around you, especially the ones you have power, knowledge or authority over, to enjoy the oxygen they deserve to make their own decisions and choices in life. Prepare them to sing songs that are both melodic and inclusive. Choose not to betray even if your life has suffered betrayal—don’t replicate unproductive behaviours!
- Appreciate that you might be betrayed. The sad and frustrating part of this story is that we might never know we have been betrayed (which often results in us doing the same), or by the time we realise we are victims, it takes a lifetime to heal the wounds. When you reach your age of reason, recalibrate all you have learned and heard and seen.
It is never too late to stop betraying or recuperate from the betrayal. When we open our senses to take ownership of our self-efficacy and agency, we defile the dagger and reject being the victim.
Set Free and Be Free
The Influential Leadership System helps us to understand and reject being both the betrayed (the victim) and the betrayer.
There are great Leadership Moments that demand we stand firm against these personal and social injustices.
| When we practice Influential Leadership, we apply our Social Agency to influence and shape people’s lived lives and life trajectories for the better—our own and others’. |
So, teaching a cute two-year-old to sing a national anthem might be fine if it is done in a productive context, but appreciate that it might be a betrayal if it reinforces zero-sum thinking and behaviours.
When we have power, knowledge or authority over others, the ones closest to us, beware betrayal.
What we must intend and act upon is their freedom to choose, to live.
